I Want A Bailout

Yes, I believe a bailout is in order. For me. I have been very good with my finances. Certainly, I have more debt than I want to have, because I have an elusive offspring living his elusive life at university in Scotland. It's expensive. But I have not missed any bill payments, and I have only been late one day on one credit card in the last decade...and that was because I was out of the country when the bill came due. But I think I should get a bailout. I won't be greedy. I don't need $700 billion. I don't need a million either. Heck, I don't even need $100k. I mean, of course a million or $100K would be nice, but really, I think $50,000 would do nicely. It would pay off my credit cards, the rest of the BAT (big-ass-truck) and the last of the elusive offspring's tuition. All that would remain would be the mortgage. I can handle that. And the the income that was freed up by the bailout would allow me to invest further in the economy. I'd be happy to invest. It would be nice. I could invest in new clothes. A new computer would be nice. I'd like a maid service. Bailing me out would help create jobs. I wouldn't mind investing in jewelry...yes, I could invest very nicely.

Why shouldn't the government go directly to the people who have the debt and bail them out? I mean, it makes sense to me. Why bail out the banks and Wall Street when you can go directly to the little guy?

I want a bailout.