Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Bummed Out By Too Many Friends In Crisis

I'm feeling really weighted down now. Not because of politics (the worst will be over by Tuesday, I hope), but by friends in crisis. The husband of one friend (Lea) fell and broke his back while I was in LA three weeks ago, and after a nine-hour session in surgery, they expected to have him sitting the following day. But he is not doing well. He is in and out of consciousness, his temperature spikes (they have him in a very cold room covered by just a towel), his lungs have filled with fluid that must be suctioned out every day (causing him a great deal of stress), he is on oxygen (he has pneumonia), he has to be turned often (and even so, has bedsores...my mother would be furious if this had happened on her watch). Before he was intubated, he was incoherent; now he couldn't talk if he wanted. And my friend is all he has. No family whatsoever. She is a former nurse and she has been a wonderful advocate for him. But it has been extremely difficult for them both. They are both very athletic, riding bicycles, sailing, kayaking. And he simply is not getting better. It is awful.

My friend, Mary, has been having trouble at the office and she is really depressed. I wish I could help her, but there is nothing I can do, except listen. My friend, JJ, has breast cancer. I have known for at least five months. And I have yet to send the card (and a little gift) I bought for her some time ago. She is undergoing chemo and I know she could use the moral support. Janet's mom has been in and out of he hospital, and in an assisted living home, for almost a year. All I can do for her is sit and listen to the difficulties of having to fly to and from Alabama every couple of weeks ($500/flight) to handle her affairs. She can't keep up with the medical bills. I have no idea what is going on with my painting buddy, Betty, because I have not called her in over a month, and she no longer has an internet hookup. She is morbidly overweight and has diabetes and trouble getting around. She suffers from depression.

I seem to be paralyzed with an inability to cope. I don't believe that I, myself, am depressed. Just overwhelmed by it all. I had such a good time in LA, not thinking about anything weighty. I had a wonderful time in Pennsylvania this weekend, too. Then I returned to this.

Well, I know one thing I can do. Right now, I am going to sign off, get up from this computer, find that card for JJ, wrap the little gift, put it in a box, and address it. At least I will have done that much. Then maybe I'll call Betty tomorrow evening.

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